SETTING AN EXAMPLE

                                                                 

        SETTING AN EXAMPLE

                               

I always thought that kids picked up on the way parents did things. You know.....learn by example? I learned that way. My parents never really sat me down and told me "this is how you do things." I saw and I emulated, thus I learned. Speaking with one of my kids recently, it seems that lesson has gone un taught. My life hasn't been easy. I've struggled quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, a lot of it has been self imposed. Hardheadedness. But oh well, I'd like to think that I've finally learned my lesson. Better late than never rite? 

Anyway, speaking with my kids and like I said we've been pretty tight. I haven't worked in over a year and my funds are literally gone. So I'm thinking kids will see this and they'll make an effort to get a job and help so we can survive. Well no ....that hasn't been the case. They seem to think that I have an obligation to support them. Middle child went as far as to tell me that he didn't ask to be born. To which I replied, neither did I and I've made the best of it. 

So it seems that all my hard work and night working extra shifts to pay for their nic nacks so they wouldn't feel like the only ones without the new game or gadgets has gone unappreciated. My mistake. I shoulda left hem without and made them really crave things. Maybe that would have made them more appreciative. Still love my boys, but I'm about to start implementing tuff love.  They're adults. If they want something, they will have to buy it themselves.

LESSON LEARNED TOO LATE

Lesson Learned Too Late

I've never been much of a diciplinarian, so go figure, I never gave my kids tasks to do as they were growing up. Do I regret it ? Yes, I do. I have good kids where kids are concerned and compared to some other kids, but they have no sense of responsibility. I've at a point in my life where I'm entering my second phase of life...the downward spiral phase of life. I'm going to be fifty this year in November and it seems that I'm barely getting my shit together, Or at least finally trying to. I graduate from college (finally and hopefully), this May or June to be exact since I'm missing algebra (again). I was here first time around. I left Algerbra for last and didn't pass it so I stayed out of school for years. I got fired from work for having too many accident while on duty and for not going to Jury Duty, well actually I did go but left to take my mother to an oncologist appointment that got rescheduled and decided to not go back to work. That's another totally different story. Anyway, I'm rambling.........the fact of the mater is I pulled my retirement to finish school but I've run out of money. Here's where the kid responsibility kicks and the clueless mother comes in, My kids know that I have no money or very little of it. I'm not working because of my school schedule and they feel no need to help us survive. I've given them as much as I possibly could. No luxuries, but I got them the new game they wanted when it came out or the game console that was new. Now that I need their assistance to survive, they feel no need to contribute. I did something wrong. I don't want hem to support me for the rest of my life. I will find work as soon as I'm out of school but at least work to help pay the bills. They all have smart phones and tablets and of course they demand Cable and internet but they will not help pay for those things. They still think it's moms responsibility to provide. Before you think I"m being unreasonable for asking this of them, two area out of high school and unemployed , the youngest is about to graduate high school so they aren't not small children or teenagers. One is in his early twenties and the middle one is 19 so they should be at least paying for their own stuff. But no. They are not . So parents, give your kids some responsibility. Start early, it's something that should be taught at a young age. They can't start with just picking up their cloths or having it up or helping wash their own dish after eating. Minor things, but things that will go a long way to teaching them to be responsible. Make them earn a little bit as they grow up. The lemonade stand bit or something where they learn to appreciate the act of working and the reward of being able to buy something with your own money. I never did, I just gave it to them. I was taught to earn my money, but I thought my mother was cruel for making me do so. Now I see the wisdom behind it and wish I could do things all over again.  Too late.